The Start of Something Beautiful

Well its finally happening, I have thought about starting this journey to write for months….. I take that back…. I have been thinking about this for years. It all started in middle school when I started writing poetry. Gosh I had such a love and passion for writing, but my writing was real and so raw. I wrote about “real” things, that were happening in my life.

I wrote about family problems, watching my Dad use drugs, shootings, physical fights I witnessed, family tragedy (I have lost so many family members who you will slowly learn about) my Mom and all the fights while my parents were separating, “the other woman” and the the hurt/betrayal I felt towards my Dad and Mom, the lack of love from my parents, and the things I would do to cope (cutting, pill popping, drinking) all at the tender age of 12.

Yes……. and I know what you’re thinking…….. she is exaggerating, and I wish I could say I was. Maybe if I was I wouldn’t be as fucked up emotionally as I am.

Ok so lets back up……..who am I today as I am writing all of this? I am 32 and finally living for me.  I am Married to a wonderful man named Alex and I have 2 amazing children Eli (11) and Julian (7). I am a Christian strong, beautiful, Latina woman (yup and I am sorry….. I cuss, and still drink occasionally) and guess what GOD STILL LOVES ME!!!!!!! Broken, flawed and perfectly imperfect!!!! God is the reason I am here today, he saved me from what the enemy wanted me to believe.

I am keeping my roots as a Latina I will forever rock a winged liner darker than night and sharp enough to stab a man, and a dark lippy, but I am breaking these chains to all the cultural stigmas/assumptions/stereotypes and all the shit in between.

I am raising boys into men who are ok to show emotion, I am teaching them to honor woman, to respect them, and above all I am teaching them to love unconditionally….. flaws and all the way their Dad has done for me. Above all I am breaking the chains!!!!!!

Soooooooo……. why did I stop writing and when? I was in high school (I think a sophomore) I remember sharing all my writing with Ms. Hambuchen in my public speaking class. She always encouraged me and told me I was good, she told me I would make it far with my writing. I wanted to be a writer……. so I finally shared it with my mom. She wasn’t as pleased or as supportive. She thought it was a waste of time, and my books disappeared shortly after that and I never saw them again. I never picked up another notebook or pen, I thought she was right. I was wasting my time.

So here I am finally doing what I love again……. and I am so excited that you are here on this journey with me!!!!!!!