Boy Mom but a Queen in Their Eyes!!!!!!

I am the definition of a queen/boy mom! Totally a term I have made up!!! I am super girly, I am talking lashes (the longer the better), nails always done (jewels and glitter are a must), eye liner(dark as night and always winged) and brows are a must, but I am a boy mom everywhere else. Yup you guessed it tank tops, yoga pants and my Nikes. I actually adult-ed on Sunday for church!!!!! I wore jeans for 2 very special reasons My boys had birthdays (Eli turned 12 on Oct 2, and Julian turned 8 on Oct 7) and I am now doing announcements at church and feel like I should take this new role very serious!

I am looking at the picture below and it practically brings me to tears!!!! Just look at these boys loving on me!!!!! Is there anything sweeter? Yes I told them to kiss me when we took this hahahaha but this is the way they really treat me DAILY!!!! I will never forget the day my Julian (juju) looked up at me as I finished my make up and said “mommy when I am married will you teach my wife how to put on the black stuff on her eyes?) by “black stuff” he means my winged liner! I said of course but wanted to know why that was so important and he says “because I want her to be just like you!” I know……. tears flowing….. I am gonna cry all over again! Eli always compliments me on my make up and outfits, he tells me he wants a wife like me all the time!!!! Now I want to say its because I am a great Proverbs 31 woman, but I can’t take all that credit!!!!!

My boys treat me EXACTLY how my husband Alex treats me!!!!!!! My husband and I have been through some shit! It wasn’t always rainbows and unicorns!!!! It still isn’t but we have found better ways of dealing and coping with stress and fights (thats a later blog.) The boys hear Alex tell me how in love he is with me daily, they hear him tell me I am beautiful,  and they hear him figure out where I WANT TO EAT that alone is LOVE lol!!!! They always hear him call me his Queen and Alex has instilled in them how delicate a woman heart can be.

I remember one day driving down the freeway and I was an emotional mess crying non stop (ugly Kim K cry) and my boys were in the back. I was crying because I felt unloved and unwanted, not by my husband or children but by my mom (we had been in another big fight and I just wanted it fixed) Alex rubbed my thigh, massaged my neck, helped me breath through the crazy panic attack I was having, I cried and sat in silence (the boys had no idea why I was crying) and I realized the boys must be terrified, I immediately remembered all the pain I felt when my mom experienced these and I remember as a little girl I always thought it was my fault because I didn’t understand what mental illness was at such a long age. I turned around and looked at them and said “babies this is not your fault, you guys didn’t do anything, please believe me!!!” Alex went on to discuss with them that mommy was having a “moment” he explained that this is normal that crying is healthy and sometimes crying just happens for no reason. He explained how fragile a woman’s heart is and how its so delicate and words can scar a woman’s heart forever so its important to always treat a woman with love and respect and to always think before we speak out of anger. He explained how sensitive women can be and in those times a woman needs a strong man in her life to help her breath through it! I remember looking at Alex and thinking wow(that is definitely Jesus speaking through my husband) My husband is so wonderful, he is instilling in them everything he has  learned though all the crazy shit we have endured!!!!!!

If you talk to the boys they will tell you that all women are queens and beautiful!!!! They know every woman is unique in their own way! and I love that so much about these little boys of mine.

Moral of the story is a strong leader in the home who is sensitive and empathetic will raise more boys into men like him and that is crucial to this world!!!!!!

Thank you husband for realizing you were an ass who was insensitive at the beginning of our relationship, and  thank you for realizing that I needed a man who was sensitive and who had to love me differently, Thank you for loving me enough to change those ways and most importantly thank you for raising our boys to be more like you and Jesus!!!!!