Perfectly Imperfect

God loves me just they way I am! This is something I have struggled with accepting because I never feel worthy enough!!!!

Y’all are in for an earful lol!!!! I am a Christian woman with a mouth on her. OOOOhhhhh let me tell you. I am the type “que no se queda con los pelos en la boca” English translation: I don’t keep hairs on my tongue! My translation: I tell it how it is. I don’t sugar coat anything, I call it out how I see it and say whatever the fuck I want to say.

For the first few years in my walk with the Lord I was told I had to dress modestly, stop cursing, stop pills (thankful for that one), I was told all different things that changed who I was. I followed all these “rules” and I was so unhappy!!!!! I didn’t feel like myself, I pushed friends away because they were not living the same life as I and their would make me “stumble” to this day I HATE that term.

Check it out, God calls us to love everyone and not just 1 type of person. He wants us to be around all types of people because that’s how we shine his light on others. Whats the point in hanging out with just “good Christians” yes we keep each other accountable but are we really making a difference?

I have a friend I look up to so much we will call her “S” she is my saving grace. She is a Proverbs 31 woman all the way!!!! Loves the Lord so much, she is involved with our church and does so much for so many of us!!!! What makes her so special to me is the way she loves all those broken around her. She doesn’t give a fuck if they are Christian, Catholic, black, white, green, gay, or straight! She has embraced me and all the hood girl in me without any judgement!!!!! I look up to her so much because she has always encouraged me to love everyone just the way they are, and she has loved me unconditionally! She is an Angel!!!!

The point of this is that we need more Christians like her!!!! I hope one day I am half the woman she is, a woman who loves unconditionally, prays for all who need it, and reaches out when we get lost.

Y’all, I have been ridiculed for the way I dress, the way I talk, the way I party and drink, and for a while I let everything go, because I was scared of being a “bad Christian.” S and my church have encouraged me to be myself and still serve in the church. They know I love Jesus I just cuss and drink a little more than some! That doesn’t make me a BAD CHRISTIAN that makes me a comfortable Christian. I find comfort in knowing My God loves me just the way I am! When he created me, he knew he was creating a crazy Latina with A LOT of spice! Y’all think that shit was a mistake????? Hell no it wasn’t !!! God knew I was going to meet S and my church and I was going to be the same! He knew I was going to raise Men to love the same exact way too.

Ok you guys this is where I am going to say some things you might not like! Stop trying to be a perfect Christian (this isn’t possible) yes we can try to be better everyday, but stop beating yourself up because you see the next girl/guy being the ideal wife/mother/husband/father and everything in between! We are all different, we all have different mentalities, we all fall short sometime (YUP I SAID ALL) and those thinking you haven’t and thinking your perfect might need some intense therapy (and I have a great recommendation when ur ready) relax that was a joke! But seriously can we please stop hating those who don’t fit “your” idea of a Christian!!!!

I am working really hard on making peace with those who have judged me and talked shit on me in the past! Not because I owe them shit but because I want them to see that I may not be the ideal Christian to them but I am going to love them regardless!!!!! I am gonna show them that this hood girl isn’t scared of failing, being judged or falling short!!!! I hold my head high regardless because I know I am a Queen in my Kings eyes, and I refuse to let my crown slip!!!!!!

I will leave you with this final thought! The other day my Pastor told me I was living the scripture 1 Corinthians 9:22 “To weak I became weak, that I might gain the weak: I am become all things to men, that I may by all means save some” Dude that shit hit me hard!!!!! This is what I am called to do!!!! God has called me to show the world that balance is ok!!!! I can have a beer and go dancing Saturday and go to praise him Sunday without guilt!!!!!! I can reach out to the girl who hates me for this and shower her with truth and love in hopes that she will realize that I am worthy and so is she!!!!

Oh what a beautiful realization! If we all had this mindset the world we be so beautiful!!!!!! Be blessed y’all!!!!